There are only two ways of travelling to a funeral in my experience - the official car or a private car. In the latter, talk flows quite freely. Maybe it’s full of cousins you haven’t seen for ages, so there are reminiscences of the deceased, or more likely some family gossip you’re hearing for the first time. Sometimes you’ve been asked to give a stranger a lift, with stilted conversation as to how you both know the deceased, and how people don’t give flowers any more, “It’s all donations these days, I think it’s a shame”, and you agree although privately you don’t.
Thank you, Sue. Funerals and memorials are tricky to navigate (in this case, quite literally) in our secular era. Writing seems to be one of the best ways to remember, memorialise, bear witness.
Sue, sandwiches are essential at wakes and to have to wait must have been difficult. I was at a hospital cafe recently with my mother when people we've known a long time but not closely sat at the next table. Out of nowhere my mother started to tell them her non-funeral plans and what she'd told us. First I'd heard of it and quite sure they didn't know how to respond.